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Thursday, December 1, 2016

Archer Farms Rudolph's Mix

I would have thought reindeer needed leafy greens, veggies, and fruits to fuel that Christmas Eve trek around the globe. Turns out those eight tiny fellows—or at least their red-nosed ringleader—gorge themselves on sugar and chocolate-laden trek mix for energy. Who knew?

Seems like this snack might be better for fattening up those antlered animals for use in some kind of venison burger, rather than for priming them for an aerial expedition pulling a fat man's sleigh loaded with innumerable toys for many thousands of miles across vast mountain ranges, plains, and countrysides. But hey, as long as you're burning the calories one way or the other...

It's truly an "indulgent" mix, as the box plainly states. For nutrition facts, please click here. I don't want to put them up in this review because I don't want to think about all the calories I just consumed.

Was it worth it? Yes, for the most part.

The components of this mix, in order from my least favorite to most favorite, are as follows:

Generic M&M thingies: Meh. We've all had these before. Chocolate with a candy shell.

Graham bites: Better than just plain old graham-flavored cereal, these bites are fairly thick and crunchy. They make a good base for a sweet, desserty trail mix.

Peanut butter cups: Everybody's had peanut butter cups before, but these are pretty good. Quality PB and chocolate can't hurt a mix like this.

White chocolate-covered generic Cheerio thingies: I don't think I've ever had white chocolate-covered Cheerios before, but they're actually really tasty. I wonder what a bowl full of these with milk would be like.

Puppy chow Chex-type pieces: You ever had puppy chow? Or muddy buddies? These things are just like that, right down to the powdered sugar. They don't strike me as being "chocolate-covered" exactly. They're just like Chex cereal squares with a sugary glaze over them. Anyway, they're tasty.

All the components work together reasonably well, although I'm always wishing there were fewer of the M&M's and more of the grainy elements. There's a really big jar of this stuff available at Target for something like $11. I guess that would be good for a Christmas party or something like that. We just got the little $2 sampler-type deal. I don't think I could eat any more than that anyway.

I give this trail mix 7 out of 10 stars.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Archer Farms Holiday Drizzle Pretzel Rods

For a minute, I thought these pretzel rods were covered in a type of peppermint bark. Much to my delight, they're not. Not that I have anything against peppermint bark or peppermint bark-covered pretzels, but sometimes I just want a snack that doesn't remind me of that "just-brushed-clean-feeling."

I've always been a fan of white chocolate/white fudge and chocolate-covered pretzels. The salt from the pretzels sets off the milky sweetness of the white chocolate very nicely. These pretzel sticks are no different. They taste and feel exactly like white chocolate-covered pretzels should.

They're individually wrapped, so they stay nice and fresh even after opening the box. They'd make perfect stocking stuffers or favors for co-workers and that sort of thing. The red and green icing adds a nice festive touch.

$5.29 for eight sticks seems a little steep to me. But I guess you're paying for all the packaging and pretty snowflake design on the box, etc. Plus, I can't complain about the size of each pretzel rod. It was just about perfect to curb the munchies without making me feel like I had overindulged.

If you're interested in the nutrition information, please click here.

I'm'onna give these pretzel sticks 8 out of 10 stars.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Archer Farms Hawaiian Style Pizza

I really wanted to like this pizza. I really did.

I was very hungry when I ate it, which usually helps a product's score. You know, I'm less critical when famished. A slice of plain bread seems pretty tempting when my belly is growling.

But this pizza was still disappointing. Many of you know I'm not a pork, ham, and bacon kind of guy, for the most part. However, even I like a good Hawaiian pizza every now and again. But this was not a good Hawaiian pizza.

This thing gives our 50th state a bad name. I mean, I'd still like to travel there some day—it's not our southernmost state's fault this weak excuse for a pizza has its name on it.

Unlike many other Archer Farms pizzas, this offering actually looks pretty good. One might ask for a tad more cheese, but there's a surprising amount of Canadian bacon and pineapple on it. Unfortunately, none of the toppings are particularly flavorful.

And the crust was the worst part. It was cardboard-esque—both in texture and in flavor.

Don't believe me on this one? Check out Target's own website, complete with unanimous one star reviews. Even I didn't think it was that bad. But then again, I might have found this product edible because I was extremely hungry when I tried it.

For nutrition facts, just click here.

I'll go with a 4 out of 10 on this one.

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